Nog Your Egg
Baby, Nice Galoshes
Up For Some Jainism?
Lit My Menorah?
What Is This
FROM THE WORD GO (FTWG) isn't just annoying e-mail spam
-- it's really, really good e-mail spam you can actually use,
crammed like a New York subway at rush hour with choice Web
guides and powerhouse tools from GO.com, all with our amazing money-back
guarantee* - and all designed to give you the inside track to
not available in states containing vowels)
In other words, FTWG is GO.com's friendly and free and
hopefully wry monthly newsletter of worthy content for you to
read and click and we're hoping you won't mind because, well,
we've truckloads of useful stuff on our site and we've just
redesigned the whole thing and it cost us more than the GNP
of a small country and we're wondering if you've seen it yet,
because we know you're busy and all, what with the holidays
pressing down. But if you don't find something useful in here,
well, we promise to give up this whole Internet thing and take
up organic gardening or something.
So here we go. Read what you like, skip what you don't, click
as many of the URLs as humanly possible (twice), have fun, and
absolutely tell me what you think or
visit my message board -- but please, no Mickey
Mouse jokes, if you know what I mean.
Here Come The
It is the holiday issue of FTWG, after all. Herein, a
random sampling of the holiday goodies you can find on GO.com,
full of love and gifts and parties and other exhausting seasonal
bliss. Oh, and of course shopping. Ho ho ho, and stuff.
Jingle Jingle Whee: It's all here: Christmas trees and carols and downloadable
clip art and crafts and decorations and greeting cards and history
and humor and oh so much more. Even pointers to Christmas trivia, because who doesn't
You like giving presents and you're into astrology? Goats appreciate
nice shoes. Here ya go - gifts for tall and handsome and genius Capricorns -- like oh, let's
say guys named Buzz (oh all right -- other signs too). You may
even find a gift idea for that burgeoning Wiccan
or maybe a happy Goth on your list. Don't forget
Holiday Song, Dance, Etcetera
music, parties, drink recipes, holiday travel, religions, and
that's just the beginning. (Unless you're an atheist, and then
it's all pretty much the same anyway. Poor
Santa on Celluloid: Holiday movies - recommendations, rentals,
buying info, DVDs, including that really dumb one starring Tim
Allen and that other really great one from like 1983
starring the cute little kid with glasses who only wants a BB
gun for Christmas. Also: The original Grinch, Rudolph, Charlie
Brown, and the rest.
Download Some Bing: Lovely holiday music by crooners metabolically
challenged, now available in MP3. They would be so proud and/or
Mingle and Be Merry: You've friends, you've a nice pad,
you've a need to laugh and bring in the cheer and break a few
wine glasses. How to throw the perfect holiday party, just like
Oprah or Martha would do if they weren't know-it-all multi-gazillionaires.
Go Nog Your Egg: Let's say Frederico and
Lucrecia (it's my newsletter, I get to pick the names) stop
by for a quick holiday visit. You're of course over 21 and you're
hankerin' to offer them some spiced eggnog, maybe a hot buttered
rum, Irish coffee, maybe a sex on the beach (it could happen).
But you're just not sure how. You need drink recipes, and fast. Where do you
turn? You got it. With all those drinks, don't forget about
the long day after.
Hey baby, nice galoshes: Going to grandma's
for the holidays? Getting as far away from grandma as possible
for the holidays? Wondering whether to bring mittens or a nice
thong bikini? GO.com's weather guide has you covered. (Also,
ski reports, highway conditions, weather maps, all sorts of
sundry weather-related bliss that could suck up a good 20 minutes
of your day before you'd even realize it).
Who's Up For Some Jainism? Holidays
and religions you've probably never heard of, but
which are a great deal of fun to learn about and then wonder
if they celebrate holidays or just sit around chanting or what.
Who lit my Menorah? Because you can
never have enough kosher food or Hanukkah sing-alongs.
Everyday Life on GO.com
and informative content we spent months getting to work
perfectly so you'd hopefully bookmark it and use it again and
again and tell your friends and adore us even more than those
other web sites - whose tush we just kicked - those others who
just don't love you nearly as much as we do.
GO.com Horoscopes: Oh my God I can't
even tell you how a very good and very cute friend of Buzz swears
by the GO.com horoscopes. *Loves* them like Buzz loves raw tuna
on rice. Said friend reads about eight different scopes a day
on various sites, just for fun, says GO.com has one of the best on the Net. ("Susan Miller kicks
ass!" is the exact quote, though I'm not sure we can print that
in a family newsletter. Or maybe we can. Did we?)
GO.com Games: So you probably don't
know the first thing about those uber-geeky online multiplayer
games like "Rogue Spear" or "Heavy Gear 2" (or maybe you do,
in which case we apologize for that "uber-geeky" quip). But
we're guessing you probably know Backgammon, Hearts, Roulette,
or Solitaire. Cribbage? Blackjack? Word Jumble? They're all here, in one of our most popular
sections. And just like love, it's all free, baby.
Soundbooth - Internet Radio: All Ricky
Martin all the time, I always say. Wait, no I don't. But this
very cool music hangout we share with our sister site Wall Of
Sound is essentially your personal e-radio station, crammed
with full-time, on-demand streaming audio in all musical flavors,
from classical to indie, reggae to rock, electronica to country
to even (shudder) Ricky. And it's completely customizable for
GO.com members (hey, that's you!). Crank it, dude:
You have opinions, we have e-operators standing by. Write to
Buzz and the GO.com gang at Buzz_Daley@go.com, let us
know how much you love FTWG and can't wait for the next issue.
All negative comments will be taken very seriously and then
immediately deleted so we don't get all depressed. Seriously
though, write me with your feedback or visit my message board.
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Not responsible for
the hours that may slip away as you poke around the GO.com
site and get lost in the annoyingly addictive wonders of the
Internet. Please remove your shoes. White wine goes well with
fish. Call your mother.
All contents (c) (tm) 2000 GO.com, Inc. Any similarities to anyone
living or dead are purely strange. No ferrets were harmed in
the creation of this newsletter, so far as you know.
Not sure about our new orange/yellow
color scheme? Want to customize your news and say, sports
scores? Personalize the GO.com experience at your leisure,
with our very cool MyPage Colors. (Buzz sez: try
MyPage Setup >
It's not too late to get great
deals on holiday travel! Visit Hotwire today and save up
to 40% on airfare. No bidding, no hassles.
Hotwire Travel >
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of
pawnbrokers, sailors, vagabonds, children and students, and
thieves. Go figure.
Trouble finding the right gift?
Use the JCPenney.com Gift Finder. Shop now and you can
save up to 25% during the Pre-Holiday Sale!
JC Penny Gift Finder >
||Buzz's Net Tip of the
Click and hold the "Back" button on most
recent browser versions to view a short "jump to" list of
sites you recently visited. Also, please keep all Web browsers
away from open flame (seems obvious, but you'd be surprised),
and also Kathie Lee Gifford (just trust me).
Lit lovers, rejoice. Not just reviews, but
bestseller lists, book recommendations, children's books,
science fiction, and tons more.
your friends! Make grandma smile! Hundreds to choose from, all
free. Sorry, no adult section, but we probably have a few that
feature Greek statuary. Close enough.